No is Easier than Not Anymore

Recently my wife and I had a discussion about appropriate swimwear for our daughters. We aren't afraid of either of them "looking too sexy" or anything; they are just 2 and 4. What we are doing is looking toward their future and what we think is appropriate as a teenager. Is it too early to worry about that? Nope. In fact, I think that decisions we make today will strongly impact our daughters when we need it the most.

Just today I watched this video about a young lady who is making a line of modest swimsuits. You should give it a watch and then come back and read the rest.




In our conversation, my wife brought up something I didn't even know: in her elementary school there are two dress codes. Younger students, and girls more than boys, have different dress rules than older students. She indicated that there is often difficulty getting the girls to comply after they have had a few years with more relaxed standards.

So that is it, in a nutshell: why say yes now to something I know for a fact I will say no to later? I understand that it is different for a 4-year old to wear a bikini than a 14-year old. If I don't want my 14-year old wearing one, it's easier to tell her a decade ahead of time than trying to reverse a decade of opposite standards.

Here's an example. My wife gets really frustrated that our 2-year old daughter pulls everything out of her hair if it is put up. Barrettes, hairbands, bobby pins, bows- she pulls them all out. Allison sees the hair in Gwen's eyes and thinks it must be bothersome. Gwen doesn't know any other way. Her hair has always (at least in her memory I would guess) been that way. If they only know one-piece swimsuits, we won't have to change it.

This isn't just about swimsuits, either. Let's talk about shorts for a minute. A while back I used to play a game when I was shopping with Allison where I would see if I could find shorts smaller than the distance from the tip of my thumb to the tip of my pinky. At the time, it was rare to find one, although many were close. These days I don't even play that game because most of the shorts are smaller than that distance, and these are for adults! (Which, FYI is about 9") Shopping for shorts for the girls has proven difficult, but we found some that are really cute and the girls feel comfortable wearing.

Pretty much everything looks cute on little kids!

I want my daughters to be modest. I want them to only know modesty. It starts right now.
 

Day Thirty! (Four)

As you may have read before, I'm doing a 90-day resolution that includes eating well, reading the bible in 90 days, doing P90X, and not spending money at restaurants. I was supposed to update at day 30 but it's now day 34. Close enough!

Bible: Failure. I was falling asleep and unable to read and have officially given up on this one. I'll try again someday.

Eating well: Pretty good! I have been best at eating more small meals throughout the day and have only eaten poorly a couple of times. I'm fine with this- I wasn't going for perfection, just dramatic improvement.

P90X: So far so good! Here are some stats for proof: Not including the weekly basketball I play, I have had 26 workout sessions totaling 19 hours 36 minutes and have burnt 14,605 calories! While I feel stronger and have more endurance (MUCH more endurance) the 30-day pictures that P90X ask for certainly demonstrated that I have work left. I might show those at the end, we'll see. That being said I have lost about 10 pounds, 2% body fat, 1.5 inches off my waist, and gained 1/2 inch on my biceps. I haven't missed a session yet (I trade the yoga on Thursdays with basketball) and honestly refuse to because I know I'll get off the whole program, much like I did with reading!

Spending money at restaurants: I have done well here too! As a family we cut our spending at restaurants by over 75% in January when compared to normal. Huge! I spent money twice, once to have dinner with tech people from around the state (I considered it an investment in networking for a future job, perhaps) and again at Chick-fil-a with my family for a fundraiser night for my wife's school.

I'm over a third of the way there and am feeling pretty successful. I knew my endeavor was going to be tough so I'm not worried about a little bit of failure. Now, time for dinner and some P90X Kenpo X!

90-Day Resolution: Day 10 Update

Day 10.

So far, I'm pretty pleased with what I've been able to accomplish. Here's a look at what I've done in the first ten days.

Exercise: I have now worked out every day since NYE. Including the 31st (which is when I actually started) I have worked out 10 times for a total of 7:05:51 and have burned 5688 calories.

Bible Reading: This is my worst area. Turns out it takes a long time to read each day's readings. I'm pretty busy with coaching and working out and I don't have a ton of time left over. I am struggling to stay awake throughout the readings. I had a bit of a head start and am currently on "Day 12" and finishing up Numbers. I am considering a holiday from social media to focus on this task.

Eating: Two thumbs up here! I've been using the MyFitnessPal app again (thanks for the reminder Seth Ponder!) and keeping to my calorie intake each day. I haven't had any pop or even sweet tea, just milk and water and one margarita! No desserts so far, but I did have some chicken wings and chips and queso for the BCS national championship game.

Spending money: I haven't spent a dime outside of necessities like gas, groceries, and bills. I did have to pony up for a couple of humidifiers for my girls. Turns out, Gwen REALLY needs the humidity in her room or she wakes up like this:

I'll keep you updated on my progress, but I can tell you that I feel great! I'm already able to work out harder and longer than just a few weeks ago. The bathroom scale has shown evidence of my work and eating habits improving.

How are your goals going???

My 90-day Resolution

Yup, you read that correctly- it's a 90-day resolution. I'm not really interested in (or capable of) committing an entire year to much of anything, so I'm keeping my resolution at a manageable timeframe. Here is my four-part plan:

1. Spiritual growth: I will be following YouVersion's Bible in 90 Days plan. I have never read every part of the Bible. Now is the time. It is a bit of a commitment, but on the flip side, it's only 90 days!
2. Physical growth: I'm 31 and I have a gut, my back hurts, and I get winded playing with my little girls. Not for long. Over the next 90 days I am committing to P90X. I have started it a couple of times, but only once with the plan of finishing it. (I tore my triceps on the first day so that didn't last long.) Again, this is a big commitment, but will only last 90 days.
3. Nutritional growth: I eat poorly. For the next 90 days I will not have soda or dessert. I will make healthy choices for meals. Only exception is for Colts games, when I will allow myself to eat whatever I choose. :-)
4. Financial growth: I have always been a spender and it's frustrating. For the next 90 days I will not spend on anything I don't need. No eating out except for gift cards or with my parents. I will not buy a funny t-shirt or even rent a RedBox.

The reward: Conveniently, the 90th day will be Monday, April 1st (no foolin'!). This is the beginning of an entire week off for Spring Break at my school. To reward myself, Allison and I will be going somewhere, just the two of us, to celebrate.

That's it. As Tony says in P90X- "Bring it."

Why I do it...

This was my view tonight, sitting at a red light with my two daughters quietly sitting in the back seat, listening to Disney songs on the way home from my day at school and picking them up from the sitter.

My thoughts weren't on "Be Prepared", even though it is one of my favorites from The Lion King. My thoughts were simple: Why do I do it? I looked at the car next to me and I couldn't tell if the lady driving it was bobbing her head to the music or trying to stay awake. I shared the feeling with her- like I was mindlessly heading home almost as though it is programmed into my very nature. It was about quarter til six and already dark, and my thoughts weren't sunny, either.

So why do I go to work. Why do I labor until 5, when school is out before 3? Why do I stay after to participate in a webinar for the DOE? Does it even matter? I mean who really cares about my Twitter presence or how I use it to grow my PLN, other than those twenty or so people who listened to the webinar? Most people don't.

After a nice dinner with a friend and her new baby, I check said Twitter feed and see another teacher sharing similar thoughts. You can read his here. My thoughts turn to something I read from a student a couple weeks back. For conferences each year, students select a piece of work from each subject area to share with their parents. They attach the sheet you see below to the work and explain why they chose it. Here is what one of my students wrote:

This is why I do it. This is why I have worked so hard this year to leave the "sage on the stage" role and become the "guide on the side." I have spent hours and hours creating my curriculum on My Big Campus so I can spend class time working with students. I want to teach them, not lecture them. I want them to embrace learning by fixing mistakes. This note was exactly what I needed today. No matter how I might question myself at times, I know that I'm teaching students how to learn and to enjoy the process.

That, my friends, is why I do it. And it is kids like this one who care that I do.

DVR: Who's in control???

A couple months ago we gave up cable TV and our (gasp!) DVR. Since then, I've learned that the TV had been controlling me, and it may be controlling you, too.



ESPN, you wonderful home to everything sports. How could I ever live without you??? Every guy that I have spoken to about this asks me something along this line; I asked it of myself when starting to consider this plan. After finally going through with ditching cable I have come to realize that I don't miss it nearly as much as I thought, and I'm certain my family doesn't.

Before, in the days of DVR and cable, I would pretty much sit down and watch football all day on Saturday, all day on Sunday, and stay up late on Monday nights. I watched many games (particularly football) and shows that I didn't care at all about; I just love football.

I love my family more.

My football sweetheart is first and foremost the Indianapolis Colts. I'm a season ticket holder, own more than enough Colts clothing, and even have a Colts-themed basement. I can still watch every Colts game- FREE! It just so happens that TV stations still broadcast over the good 'ol antenna. Plus, it's in hi-def. (FYI- Thursday Night games are broadcast on the local markets' local station in addition to the NFL Network, so I could watch those games.)

What I've lost:

• Sitting in my recliner all day on the weekends.
• Staying up much too late on Monday nights.
• My cable bill.

The biggest lesson I have learned through getting rid of TV is that I don't actually miss it at all. I still have ways to watch a show if I really want to, but I find myself enjoying much more meaningful entertainment like my daughters' giggles. 

Cable companies sell you on the control you get to "enjoy" with DVR, but TV may actually be controlling you. Get off the couch and enjoy yourself!

I'm a Quitter and You Should Be Too.

No. It's such a simple word and it's so easy to say. Kids learn it way before they learn yes. Then why is it that we are such "yes" people?

When I was in college I was in a fraternity and became very popular at one point. I was active with several other groups on campus and was a leader. I was a "yes" man. Yes- I can do that. And that. And that. And that... It got to the point where the conversations I had with people I ran into on campus weren't about sports, weather, politics, or anything usual but simply became a chance to share just how busy you were. Things aren't much different now, either.

In the world of education, you must be all things at all times to all people. Grades are expected instantaneously, email and phone communication must be done immediately. There are so many things expected of a teacher at school it is impossible to do it all!

For 7 years I coached three sports, led the school's FCA program, volunteered at church, served on committees, and still attempted to be a good husband, father, friend, and employee.
 
Never again.

I will never spread myself so thin that everything I do gets only a small sliver of me. I will never say yes because it will please someone else while hurting me.

I will say no.

Say it with me: "No." It's easy, and oh so freeing. What's that you say? Kids in Center Grove play 4 sports at a time and have games every day all year round? Mine won't. Parents are supposed to work long hours and volunteer at clubs or church? Not if it gets in the way of my family.

I have said no. I am a quitter. I quit coaching two of the three sports and plan to quit the other next year. I quit leading FCA. I quit volunteering weekly at church. I have more quitting to do, too.

Try it.

Right now, today. What is getting in your way? You have something taking up time you don't want to give. Quit. Do something valuable with your time. Go swing your kids. Snuggle and read a book. Exercise. Cook dinner with your spouse. Live your life on purpose, not on schedule.

I dare you.